My Favorite Books of 2019
Spoiler: None of them were published in 2019 :)
Happy (almost) New Year!
At the end of the year, I typically sit down and review the books I’ve read, what I enjoyed, and what I learned from each one. Most of the time it is a heavy focus on self-improvement or business books.
This year I made a point to give up self-improvement books and focused more on reading a variety of topics. I felt like I learned so much compared to previous years. In past years, I was always so obsessed with learning something that could improve any area of my life and my reading habits showed it. Something interesting happened. I stopped stressing about changing things and “improving myself” and started to enjoy reading again.
Not to bash on self-improvement or business books too much… but they all kinda say the same shit over and over again.
I find that they get the reader to focus on the gaps…the areas where they are “missing” something. And the reader needs to grit it out and improve that area so they can achieve the life of their dreams. God forbid we take a day off “the grind” and enjoy life a little bit.
Ranting aside…the books I read this year were eye-opening and helped me to see things from a different perspective. With a little psychology, sociology, religion, philosophy, and some excellent fiction reads here are the 18 books that I enjoyed the most in 2019.
1. Art of Loving by Erich Fromm
From the cover: The groundbreaking international bestseller that has shown millions of readers how to achieve rich, productive lives by developing their hidden capacities for love
Most people are unable to love on the only level that truly matters: love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. As with every art, love demands practice and concentration, as well as genuine insight and understanding.
In his classic work, The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects — not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, the love of God, and the love of parents for their children.
Thoughts on the Book: Fromm’s perspectives on how to approach unconditional love in all areas of life were very eye-opening. Fromm suggests that if you are unable to express unconditional love towards a complete stranger than you lack the same love for yourself. Art of Loving had a profound effect on my perception of my feelings towards others by holding up a mirror to how I feel about myself. I found that there was always a relation between the two. How I felt about myself is how I tended to view or treat others. If I am mad at myself about how I forgot to pay a bill or slipped up on some homework, I’m more likely to be an asshole when someone else does the same. Letting things go allows you to find compassion for yourself and others when we make mistakes.
Favorite Quote: “Giving is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experience my strength, my wealth, my power.
This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous.
Giving is more joyous than receiving, not because it is a deprivation, but because in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness.”
2. Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day
From the cover: From the New York Times bestselling authors of Sprint, a simple 4-step system for improving focus, finding greater joy in your work, and getting more out of every day
Nobody ever looked at an empty calendar and said, “The best way to spend this time is by cramming it full of meetings!” or got to work in the morning and thought, Today I’ll spend hours on Facebook! Yet that’s exactly what we do.
Why?
In a world where information refreshes endlessly and the workday feels like a race to react to other people’s priorities faster, frazzled and distracted has become our default position. But what if the exhaustion of constant busyness wasn’t mandatory?
What if you could step off the hamster wheel and start taking control of your time and attention? That’s what this book is about.
Thoughts on the Book: This book puts into words every moment of stress I have when I get to the end of the day or week and can’t remember anything special that stood out. I was enveloped in my phone or responding to demands from work without paying attention to the world around me. Make Time gives you the ability to get your phone and technology to work for you instead of draining you of precious energy to invest in what is the most important. It doesn’t tell you to remove all technology from your life or anything outlandish but simple tactics to get technology to work for you. It has made a huge, huge difference for me and I regularly come back to it when I slip up.
Favorite Quotes: “Every time you check your email or another messaging service, you’re basically saying, “Does any random person need my time right now?”
“Shifting your focus to something that your mind perceives as a doable, completable task will create a real increase in positive energy, direction, and motivation.”
3. Pillow Thoughts by Courtney Peppernell
From the cover: Pillow Thoughts is a collection of poetry and prose about heartbreak, love and raw emotions.
It is divided into sections to read when you feel you need them most.
Make a cup of tea and let yourself feel.
Thoughts on the Book: I’ve tried to branch out my interests into new areas from authors I may not have typically read in the past. Looking at my reading history I tend to gravitate towards books written by men about self-help and business so this was me trying something new.
Courtney Peppernell is a best-selling LGBTQ author who doesn’t fit the typical mold of my usual read and I’m really glad I picked up this book. She captures human emotion in a way that is hard to describe but when I read it there were several times I set it down….let out a sigh…and said, “Shit, that hurts.”…and continued reading. Reading this book hurts but it made me feel more human and less alone in feeling emotions in situations we can all relate to.
Favorite Quote: “People should fall in love more.
Fall in love with the way your coffee swirls as soon as you pour the milk in.
Fall in love with the look your dog gives you when you wake up.
Fall in love with the rare moment when your cat doesn’t ignore you.
Fall in love with the person who tells you to have a good day.
Fall in love with the waiter who gives you extra chili fries.
Fall in love with sweaters in winter and cold lemonade in summer.
Fall in love with the moment your head hits the pillow.
Fall in love with talking to someone until 4 a.m.
Fall in love with the days you can hit the snooze button over and over again.
Fall in love when a lover stares at you for five hours.
Fall in love with the stars when they look at you.
Fall in love with the sound of someone breathing.
Fall in love with the bus if it’s on time or the train if it comes early.
Fall in love with everything possible.”
4. Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
From the cover: The Wisdom of Pooh.
Is there such a thing as a Western Taoist? Benjamin Hoff says there is, and this Taoist’s favorite food is honey. Through brilliant and witty dialogue with the beloved Pooh-bear and his companions, the author of this smash bestseller explains with ease and aplomb that rather than being a distant and mysterious concept, Taoism is as near and practical to us as our morning breakfast bowl.
Romp through the enchanting world of Winnie-the-Pooh while soaking up invaluable lessons on simplicity and natural living.
Thoughts on the Book: This book was recommended by a fellow traveler in Vietnam on my last trip as their favorite book. It didn’t disappoint. It laid out Tao principles using characters from Winnie the Pooh and their behaviors from stories we are all familiar with. It shows how sometimes the path of least resistance and simplicity is the best path to take. If you want a beginner’s lesson in Taoism with familiar characters, this is a great place to start.
Favorite Quotes: “Things just happen in the right way, at the right time. At least when you let them, when you work with circumstances instead of saying, ‘This isn’t supposed to be happening this way,’ and trying harder to make it happen some other way.”
“Do you really want to be happy? You can begin by being appreciative of who you are and what you’ve got.”
“The surest way to become Tense, Awkward, and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard — one that thinks too much.”
“The main problem with this great obsession for saving time is very simple: you can’t save time. You can only spend it. But you can spend it wisely or foolishly.”
5. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
From the cover: Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Based on his own experience and the stories of his patients, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose.
At the heart of his theory, known as logotherapy, is a conviction that the primary human drive is not pleasure but the pursuit of what we find meaningful. Man’s Search for Meaning has become one of the most influential books in America; it continues to inspire us all to find significance in the very act of living.
Thoughts on the Book: I have read this book several times and I pick up something new every time. It checks my attitude and direction with each page. This book has a quote that has guided my life especially the last two years, “So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!” If you have felt like you lack a purpose or a path in life, please, please, please read this book.
Favorite Quotes: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.
Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run — in the long-run, I say! — success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”
“I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.”
6. Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
From the cover: In the cloud-washed airspace between the cornfields of Illinois and blue infinity, a man puts his faith in the propeller of his biplane. For disillusioned writer and itinerant barnstormer Richard Bach, belief is as real as a full tank of gas and sparks firing in the cylinders…until he meets Donald Shimoda — former mechanic and self-described messiah who can make wrenches fly and Richard’s imagination soar…
In Illusions, Richard Bach takes to the air to discover the ageless truths that give our souls wings: that people don’t need airplanes to soar…that even the darkest clouds have meaning once we lift ourselves above them… and that messiahs can be found in the unlikeliest places — like hay fields, one-traffic-light midwestern towns, and most of all, deep within ourselves.
Thoughts on the Book: This book was highly, highly recommended by a good friend of mine, Brian Pedder, and it didn’t disappoint. It shares the story of an airplane pilot who is also a messiah of some sort, creating his own reality and avoiding fulfilling his role as the said messiah. He shares his message with another pilot and teaches him his lessons from his life experience and why he’s avoided fulfilling his role. It is a thoughtful philosophical book that will leave you questioning the perspective you’ve developed of your own life.
It left me pondering how responsible I have been for my own position beyond even where I’ve taken ownership. How much of this have I created and how much was beyond my control? Did I really need to go to college and accumulate tens of thousands of debt to realize it wasn’t for me? These questions and more came out of reading this book and I hope it will leave you questioning your hand in your own reality as well.
Favorite Quotes: “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.”
“If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats.”
“Listen,’ he said. ‘It’s important. We are all. Free. To do. Whatever. We want. To do.”
7. Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
From the cover: Willy Loman has been a salesman for 34 years. At 60, he is cast aside, his usefulness now exhausted. With no future to dream about he must face the crushing disappointments of his past. He takes one final brave action, but is he heroic at last? or a self-deluding fool?
Thoughts on the Book: In a world where it feels to me like we are focusing more and more on ourselves and valuing the zeroes in our bank accounts over all else, Death of a Salesman pushed me to question this even more. Why do we wait to pursue what gets us to jump out of bed in the morning with excitement? When it is so close, why do we wait or avoid becoming who we know are? If you have the same questions or feel like all you ever really wanted was to enjoy a little more downtime on a beach, this book is for you.
Favorite Quotes: “Why am I trying to become what I don’t want to be … when all I want is out there, waiting for me the minute I say I know who I am.”
“To suffer fifty weeks of the year for the sake of a two-week vacation, when all you really desire is to be outdoors, with your shirt off.”
“Figure it out. Work a lifetime to pay off a house. You finally own it, and there’s nobody to live in it.”
8. Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism by Fumio Sasaki
From the cover: Fumio Sasaki is not an enlightened minimalism expert; he’s just a regular guy who was stressed at work, insecure, and constantly comparing himself to others — until one day he decided to change his life by reducing his possessions to the bare minimum. The benefits were instantaneous and absolutely remarkable: without all his “stuff,” Sasaki finally felt true freedom, peace of mind, and appreciation for the present moment.
Goodbye, Things explores why we measure our worth by the things we own and how the new minimalist movement will not only transform your space but truly enrich your life. Along the way, Sasaki modestly shares his personal minimalist experience, offering tips on the minimizing process and revealing the profound ways he has changed since he got rid of everything he didn’t need. The benefits of a minimalist life can be realized by anyone, and Sasaki’s humble vision of true happiness will open your eyes to minimalism’s potential.
Thoughts on the Book: A few years ago if you walked into the house I was renting or my room there were clothes and books piled everywhere. Then following Marie Kondo’s methodology I got rid of most of my belongings. I had so much space and for the first time in my life, I had a regularly clean house (I know you thought it was HIGHLY improbable, Mom!).
The best part was that it now took almost no effort.
This was only the beginning.
It made space for me to realize what was most important and to get rid of the stuff that was “okay.” This not only applied to my possessions but in most areas of my life. This book lays out the author’s experience with minimalism and cutting down on the number of possessions he owned. The author is relatable as someone like you or me with an office job and an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction in life. Check this book out if you’ve ever been curious about what minimalism looks like for the average joe or jane.
Favorite Quotes: “Want to know how to make yourself instantly unhappy? Compare yourself with someone else.”
“Why do we own so many things when we don’t need them? What is its purpose? I think the answer is quite clear: We’re desperate to convey our own worth, our own value to others. We use objects to tell people just how valuable we are.”
“We can accumulate as much as we like, but without gratitude, we’ll only end up being bored with everything we’ve obtained. Conversely, we can achieve true contentment with few possessions, just so long as we treat them with gratitude.”
9. The Way of Zen by Alan Watts
From the cover: In his definitive introduction to Zen Buddhism, Alan Watts explains the principles and practices of this ancient religion to Western readers. With a rare combination of freshness and lucidity, he delves into the origins and history of Zen to explain what it means for the world today with incredible clarity. Watts saw Zen as “one of the most precious gifts of Asia to the world,” and in The Way of Zen, he gives this gift to readers everywhere.
Thoughts on the Book: This is not a shallow dive into Buddhism. This book is easily as good as anything I’ve read on spirituality. The best work of Alan Watts I have read to date, this book is highly recommended for anybody interested in Eastern spirituality.
Favorite Quotes: “When we attempt to exercise power or control over someone else, we cannot avoid giving that person the very same power or control over us.”
“Zen Buddhism is a way and a view of life which does not belong to any of the formal categories of modern Western thought. It is not religion or philosophy; it is not a psychology or a type of science. It is an example of what is known in India and China as a “way of liberation,” and is similar in this respect to Taoism, Vedanta, and Yoga. As will soon be obvious, a way of liberation can have no positive definition. It has to be suggested by saying what it is not, somewhat as a sculptor reveals an image by the act of removing pieces of stone from a block.”
10. The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety by Alan Watts
From the cover: In this fascinating book, Alan Watts explores man’s quest for psychological security, examining our efforts to find spiritual and intellectual certainty in the realms of religion and philosophy. The Wisdom of Insecurity underlines the importance of our search for stability in an age where human life seems particularly vulnerable and uncertain. Watts argues our insecurity is the consequence of trying to be secure and that, ironically, salvation and sanity lies in the recognition that we have no way of saving ourselves.
Thoughts on the Book: The second Alan Watts book on my list doesn’t disappoint. If you have ever felt like you wanted something so badly that you stressed yourself out just from wanting it, you will relate to this book.
The very desire for wanting a secure job causes us to be anxious and insecure about our job. By accepting that we could lose that job or the thing that we so desire at any moment grants us the security we wanted the entire time, knowing that everything will be ok. I wish I could travel back in time and tell my younger self to chill out when stressing over grades, money, or any number of other things. By desiring security so strongly, I pretty much guaranteed myself a high level of anxiety. This book is a wake-up call for those looking for rock-solid guarantees out of life.
Favorite Quotes: “Tomorrow and plans for tomorrow can have no significance at all unless you are in full contact with the reality of the present since it is in the present and only in the present that you live. There is no other reality than present reality, so that, even if one were to live for endless ages, to live for the future would be to miss the point everlastingly.”
“To put it still more plainly: the desire for security and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing. To hold your breath is to lose your breath. A society based on the quest for security is nothing but a breath-retention contest in which everyone is as taut as a drum and as purple as a beet.”
11. Sane Society by Erich Fromm
From the cover: Social psychologist Erich Fromm’s seminal exploration of the profound ills of modern society, and how best to overcome them
One of Fromm’s main interests was to analyze social systems and their impact on the mental health of the individual. In this study, he reaches further and asks: “Can a society be sick?” He finds that it can, arguing that Western culture is immersed in a “pathology of normalcy” that affects the mental health of individuals.
In The Sane Society, Fromm examines the alienating effects of modern capitalism and discusses historical and contemporary alternatives, particularly communitarian systems. Finally, he presents new ideas for a re-organization of economics, politics, and culture that would support the individual’s mental health and our profound human needs for love and freedom.
Thoughts on the Book: This book fucked with my head for quite some time. What if society is encouraging us into mentally unhealthy behaviors without knowing it was doing so? Isolating us from our neighbors and encouraging us to make the same decisions that have hurt their own mental health may have been the result of 20th-century capitalism.
This and the increase of dense populations have created what Fromm would describe as the pathology of normalcy. Have no fear though, Fromm lays out solutions for us to curb these problems and bring society back to a healthy state. This isn’t a rant against capitalism but a rant against individual isolationism that was a side-effect of our current state of capitalism.
Favorite Quote: “The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same form of mental pathology does not make these people sane.”
“Indeed the alienated person finds it almost impossible to remain by himself because he is seized by the panic of experiencing nothingness.”
12. Civilized Man’s Eight Deadly Sins by Konrad Lorenz
From the cover: “While humanity is vandalizing its surrounding nature, it is threatening itself with ecological catastrophes. If you are already aware of its economic implications, you may admit its mistakes, but it will probably be too late. But at least you will find that this barbaric process has caused so much damage to his soul. The general, growing alienation from nature is largely to blame for the aesthetic and ethical rudeness of civilized mankind. “In big cities, even the starry sky is hidden by high-rise buildings and air pollution.”
Thoughts on the Book: Recently, climate change and global warming debates seem to have reached a fever pitch. Scientists like Lorenz have been warning society of the consequences of our actions for years before it became mainstream. Though this book is older and not well known, it lays out the 8 deadly sins man will commit that could lead to our destruction including destroying the climate, social isolationism, and nuclear warfare. He also lays out some ideas for solutions or how we can avoid these catastrophes. It is a short and good read that I recommend anyone interested in studying society as the whole to check out.
Favorite Quote: “Every danger loses some of its terror once its causes are understood.”
12. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
From the cover: The brilliant, bestselling, landmark novel that tells the story of the Buendia family, and chronicles the irreconcilable conflict between the desire for solitude and the need for love — in rich, imaginative prose that has come to define an entire genre known as “magical realism.”
Thoughts on the Book: A fun read that I had a hard time following in the beginning. This book taught me quite a few things. Chaos and order are two sides of family life. Sadness and love go hand in hand. Life is easy and complicated at the same time. Many wishes actually come true, but never in the way we expect, and most often with a catch.
It taught me that we are forever longing for what we do not have until we get what we long for. Then we start longing for what we lost when our dreams came true. Tread carefully but enjoy the read.
Favorite Quote: “It’s enough for me to be sure that you and I exist at this moment.”
“There is always something left to love.”
“The secret of a good old age is simply an honorable pact with solitude.”
13. The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo
From the cover: Paulo Coelho’s enchanting novel has inspired a devoted following around the world. This story, dazzling in its powerful simplicity and soul-stirring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepherd boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried near the Pyramids.
Along the way, he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest. No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles in his path. But what starts out as a journey to find worldly goods turns into a discovery of the treasure found within. Lush, evocative, and deeply humane, the story of Santiago is an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts.
Thoughts on the Book: The first time I read this book it changed my life. I know that sounds super cliche especially with this book but it is true. It made me think about what I want my future to be like and when I was left alone with my thoughts about what I wanted to do. I read this book again this year to see if my perception had changed. I certainly had many different takeaways than the last time I had read it. Some people loathe this book for some reason but I think it has to do with their expectations. If you go into it thinking it will be the best book you’ve ever read, you will be sadly disappointed. It’s not like reading the best writing ever put to page.
It is the hope that it inspires throughout the book that makes it what it is. Even thinking about the point of the oil in the spoon scene…the key to a happy life laid out in this scene is to explore the world in all of its glory but to not spill the oil out of the spoon in the process. Basically, enjoy the ride but don’t forget about your responsibilities. I hope you read this book and you enjoy it when you do.
Favorite Quote: “It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
14. The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coehlo
From the cover: Step inside this captivating account of Paulo Coehlo’s pilgrimage along the road to Santiago. This fascinating parable explores the need to find one’s own path. In the end, we discover that the extraordinary is always found in the ordinary and simple ways of everyday people. A part adventure story, part guide to self-discovery, this compelling tale delivers the perfect combination of enchantment and insight.
Thoughts on the Book: An interesting book that lays out Paulo Coehlo’s experience on the Camino de Santiago across Spain. It is interesting how his journey of self-discovery along the path can be related to our own struggles in the pursuit of our desires. The most powerful point was about having a specific use or purpose giving us direction and strength to accomplish our goal is necessary to call forth our strongest gifts. A good book, not quite the Alchemist but a good read.
Favorite Quote: “We always have a tendency to see those things that do not exist and to be blind to the great lessons that are right there before our eyes.”
“Have pity on those who are fearful of taking up a pen, or a paintbrush, or an instrument, or a tool because they are afraid that someone has already done so better than they could…”
15. Vagabonding by Rolf Potts
From the cover: Vagabonding is about taking time off from your normal life — from six weeks to four months to two years — to discover and experience the world on your own terms. Veteran shoestring traveler Rolf Potts shows how anyone armed with an independent spirit can achieve the dream of extended overseas travel. Potts gives the necessary information on:
- financing your travel time
- determining your destination
- adjusting to life on the road
- working and volunteering overseas
- handling travel adversity
- re-assimilating back into ordinary life
Not just a plan of action, vagabonding is an outlook on life that emphasizes creativity, discovery, and the growth of the spirit.
Thoughts on the Book: If you’re considering traveling the globe in any capacity in the future for an extended period of time, I highly recommend picking up this book. The things that he suggests you prepare or think about before you travel are extremely helpful. Plus Potts shares his own experiences that can come into play while you plan out your own adventures. I tried to explain when I first started traveling full-time that I would only continue to do so for the right reasons. They didn’t understand what I meant and thought I was being foolish. I was trying to make it clear that if I ever thought I was doing it to escape instead of learning than I would stop. It is a point I still stand by now and Potts does a great job of laying out that perspective in this book. Future or aspiring globetrotters, read this book!
Favorite Quote: “The value of your travels does not hinge on how many stamps you have in your passport when you get home — and the slow nuanced experience of a single country is always better than the hurried, superficial experience of forty countries.”
“Money, of course, is still needed to survive, but time is what you need to live. So, save what little money you possess to meet basic survival requirements, but spend your time lavishly in order to create the life values that make the fire worth the candle. Dig?”
“you should view each new travel frustration — sickness, fear, loneliness, boredom, conflict — as just another curious facet in the vagabonding adventure.”
16. The Hyperion Cantos by Dan Simmons
From the cover: The Hyperion Cantos is a series of science fiction novels by Dan Simmons. The title was originally used for the collection of the first pair of books in the series, Hyperion and The Fall of Hyperion, and later came to refer to the overall storyline, including Endymion, The Rise of Endymion, and a number of short stories. More narrowly, inside the fictional storyline, after the first volume, the Hyperion Cantos is an epic poem written by the character Martin Silenus covering in verse form the events of the first book
Thoughts on the Book: After my motorbike accident in Vietnam, I was laid up for a couple of weeks. I needed something to take my mind off the fact that I was unable to go on any exciting treks. Enter the Hyperion Cantos. Truly one of the best book series I’ve ever read. It was weird, entertaining, and made it almost impossible to put down. If you’re looking for a series to dive into for some futuristic storytelling, this Hugo Award winner is what you’ve been looking for.
Favorite Quote: “After fifty-five years of dedicating his life and work to the story of ethical systems, Sol Weintraub had come to a single, unshakable conclusion: any allegiance to a deity or concept or universal principle which put obedience above decent behavior toward an innocent human being was evil.”
17. Some Thoughts About Relationships by Colin Wright
From the cover: Relationships have the potential to drastically improve our lives, or to sucker punch us in the emotional gut. Impactful as these interpersonal ties can be, it’s worth the effort to become more familiar with them, question a lot of our default notions that surround them, and calibrate them to best suit our needs and those of the people we care about.
This is a book for people who want it all when it comes to relationships: something tailor-made for their unique beliefs, goals, desires, and lifestyles. This is a book for people who aren’t afraid to ask, “How might we do this better?”
Thoughts on the Book: Colin is one of my favorite human beings that I’ve met virtually but never met in real life. This book is one of my favorites to re-read as Colin does a fantastic job diving into common mindsets that can habitually spoil relationships. The part about looking for fulfillment from another person without fulfilling yourself hits home when I think about past relationships. I can think back to times where I thought finding the “missing” piece in my life would change everything and finally bring me joy. That was until I decided to live a life that wasn’t missing fulfillment, that I was ok with being alone. If this is as bad as it gets (being alone) then this is still a pretty good life I feel I’ve built. I feel as if this mindset, with the help of Colin’s book and life experience, has set me up for greater relationship success in the future.
Favorite Quotes: “You are born complete, you die complete, and you decide whom you spend your time within between.”
“If you want to find fulfillment with another person, an ideal first step is to become personally, independently fulfilled.”
“If you want to find fulfillment with another person, an ideal first step is to become personally, independently fulfilled. Depending on someone else to bring happiness to your life, zest to your day-to-day, and inspiration to your work, is handing off a lot of responsibility; it’s depending on your partner to make you complete.”
After completing this list I’ve realized I didn’t include any books published this year. I guess I’ve always enjoyed older books that have continually received positive reviews over time and to read old favorites again to see how my perspective has changed. I hope you check out some of these books and enjoy them as much as I did.
What were some of your favorite books you’ve read this year?
Until next time,
Trevor Carlson
“If I’m an advocate for anything, it’s to move. As far as you can, as much as you can. Across the ocean, or simply across the river. The extent to which you can walk in someone else’s shoes or at least eat their food, it’s a plus for everybody. Open your mind, get up off the couch, move.” — Anthony Bourdain
